Today I woke up and it was a bad day. I have been diagnosed with Neuropathy( nerve damage). I have pain from my feet to above my knees. Some days are better than others. On the bad days, the pain is frustrating. I want to stay in bed, cover my head, and cry.
Today, I began praying to God, and tell Him I was frustrated, not just because of the pain, but because of things I cannot do, things that are limited, or limited in time.
i prayed for a word:
I told Him I feel confined in my physical limitations.
I feel confined in my head, that because of this, I cannot do some basic things.
I feel confined because I feel weak and sometimes useless.
I began to complain about all the things that are difficult, and make me feel weak and lame.
One of these, is that my house and yard need are not how I want them to look-disarrayed.
God said, “Your heart and mind are disarrayed.”
-Your strength is mine. Ask for it.
-You forget I am holding you. Embrace it.
-You are placing your value on what you used to do, and not what you can do right now, through me. You have gifts- use them.
YOU ARE VALUED
-You are my daughter
– I created you
– Stop mental thoughts of of limitations. You are creative-use it.
They are calling this a “Medical Mystery.” Several doctors ran over 100 tests, and could not find a reason for this.
Ok, I love mysteries. I have a classic collection of Nancy Drew And Hardy Boys hardcover books. I love puzzles and anything that moves my brain to unravel something. I love watching Criminal Minds and Law and Order, books by mystery authors, and games that require solving a puzzle.
I am frustated when any of the aboved puzzles cannot be solved.
My nurse( of 20 years in her profession), told me she had not seen that many vials of blood.
I do not know how much blood was taken from my body, but I do know this:
THE BLOOD OF JESUS
-was more pain thn I can compare to mine
– He gave it to give everyone life and value in who God created us to be
Tonight, our family was in the living room. It turned dark with time. My daughter randomly turned on a small light that illuminated her face for a moment. I told her she was a portrait.
I believe the mystery to be unraveled is that God wants each of us to know that we are all special, unique, and valued by his artisic design. We just need to embrace His art.